Saturday, October 13, 2012

Bullying 101

Bullying is a hot topic in the news and in the schools these days.  At MCES, formal bully prevention lessons start in 2nd grade and continue through 5th grade.  Parents are an important part of bullying prevention, so let's go over what they learn!

First they learn the definition of bullying.  When we discuss bullying, we are talking about any number of "mean" behaviors.  These behaviors can be the stereotypical bullying behaviors (punching, stealing lunch money, etc) or non-stereotypical (spreading rumors, rolling eyes, etc.).  But for these behaviors to be truly bullying, they have to meet three criteria:
1.  They are repetitive:  bullying is a behavior that happens every day or every week.  
2.  There is "intent to harm."  The bully has the intention to be mean and to hurt the other person.  
3.  There is an imbalance of power.  The bully has more power, maybe because he/she is bigger, older, or more popular.

So what strategies do students learn to defend themselves against bullying?  They are given a huge bag of tricks, starting with simple strategies at the younger grades, and then moving to more complex strategies later on.  Some strategies include walk away (toward an adult), laugh it off or make a joke, ignore, agree with the bully, stick with friends, tell an adult, and tell them to stop (and we practice how to say this assertively) to name a few.

Kids might not remember all those strategies, but I do ask them to remember the most important two.  The first is the ONLY strategy for physical bullying:  Tell an adult.  Physical bullying is a SERIOUS problem and we don't want elementary students trying to handle that on their own.
The second I ask them to remember is the "stick with friends" strategy.  Remember from the definition that the bully has more power than us. . . . UNLESS we stick together.  Then we have power in numbers!! I demonstrate the concept by having a student break a single pencil.  Of course it easily snaps in two.  I then ask the student to break a whole handful of pencils.  This task is impossible, demonstrating how strong we are when we all stick together.

If you have any questions or concerns about bullying, please don't hesitate to call anytime!