Conflict resolution is an area I focus on a lot in my counseling program. It seems, inevitably, in the second half of the school year, we have more and more conflicts between peers. Add in that we are a year-round school, and some groups of kids have been together for YEARS, and we may get more than our fair share of conflicts! :)
I focus on really teaching the conflict resolution skills in 1st grade and then building on this foundation with some higher level skills in the upper grades. The basic skills we teach in first grade are really the key to easily solving conflicts at school and home (not that your children ever fight with brothers, sisters, cousins or neighbors!) ;)
Below I am listing the 12 basic strategies that our students are taught. We usually ask the students to try at least 3 strategies on their own before they ask for adult help.
1. Walk away--This strategy is so simple. Someone is doing something you don't like, and you simply walk away! We know to do this as adults, but kids have to be taught to do this!
2. Ignore--This strategy also has to be taught. We teach students how to ignore in a way that is not rude or mean.
3. Say please stop. We ask them to say these words in a firm but nice voice.
4. Talk it out. For this strategy, students are asked to talk it out using "I statements." For instance, a child might say I feel sad when you leave me out of the game. Please let me play. This is the most difficult strategy and one that we practice A LOT!
5. Wait and cool off. Students are taught to walk away when they are angry and to take at least 10 deep breaths to calm down.
6. Share and take turns. An oldie, but goodie! Such an easy way to solve most elementary age conflicts!
7. Go to another game. This strategy is similar to walk away. Students are taught that if someone is being mean, or they are having a conflict, sometimes the best thing to do is go play with someone else.
8. Make a deal. Students are taught to problem-solve and find a win-win solution. This means that each person should at least get a little bit of what they want. As adults, we call is compromising. :)
9. Apologize. Students are taught that everyone makes mistakes, and if you make a mistake, you should say I am sorry. Students are taught to say what they are sorry for, and to say what they will do in the future instead.
10. Forgive. Students are also taught to have forgiving hearts. If someone makes a mistake and apologizes, we should try to forgive and move on.
11. Stick with Friends. If someone is being mean to you, surround yourself with friends! You will fill better AND the person will probably leave you alone.
12. Shake it off. Sometimes little things happen that are really not a big deal. So someone stepped on your foot, but you are okay. . . students are taught to not sweat the small stuff!
Thank you for reinforcing the use of these skills at home and school! Hopefully they will help make your home more peaceful as well!
