Gossip and Rumors

I am currently visiting all of the 5th grade classrooms, and our topic is Gossip.  By upper elementary, the students really begin to notice things that are different about each other.  If a kid dresses differently or acts differently, that can turn into kids gossiping about that student.  Gossiping can be very hurtful, so we are reading a book entitled Trouble Talk that addresses this topic. 

During the lesson, students learn that before they spread a rumor, they should ask themselves three questions:

1.  Is it True? 

2. Is it something Good?

3. Is it Useful information?

If students are unable to answer "yes" to all 3 of these questions, then they should not share the information with others. 

Students were left with these thoughts on Kindness towards others:

Kindness sometimes means NOT doing something.

Not making that comment.

Not noticing that flaw.

Not assuming the worst about someone else.

Bullying 101

Bullying is a hot topic in the news and in the schools these days.  At MCES, formal bully prevention lessons start in 2nd grade and continue through 5th grade.  Parents are an important part of bullying prevention, so let's go over what they learn!

First they learn the definition of bullying.  When we discuss bullying, we are talking about any number of "mean" behaviors.  These behaviors can be the stereotypical bullying behaviors (punching, stealing lunch money, etc) or non-stereotypical (spreading rumors, rolling eyes, etc.).  But for these behaviors to be truly bullying, they have to meet three criteria:

1.  They are repetitive:  bullying is a behavior that happens every day or every week.  

2.  There is "intent to harm."  The bully has the intention to be mean and to hurt the other person.  

3.  There is an imbalance of power.  The bully has more power, maybe because he/she is bigger, older, or more popular.

So what strategies do students learn to defend themselves against bullying?  They are given a huge bag of tricks, starting with simple strategies at the younger grades, and then moving to more complex strategies later on.  Some strategies include walk away (toward an adult), laugh it off or make a joke, ignore, agree with the bully, stick with friends, tell an adult, and tell them to stop (and we practice how to say this assertively) to name a few.

Kids might not remember all those strategies, but I do ask them to remember the most important two.  The first is the ONLY strategy for physical bullying:  Tell an adult.  Physical bullying is a SERIOUS problem and we don't want elementary students trying to handle that on their own.
The second I ask them to remember is the "stick with friends" strategy.  Remember from the definition that the bully has more power than us. . . . UNLESS we stick together.  Then we have power in numbers!! I demonstrate the concept by having a student break a single pencil.  Of course it easily snaps in two.  I then ask the student to break a whole handful of pencils.  This task is impossible, demonstrating how strong we are when we all stick together.

If you have any questions or concerns about bullying, please don't hesitate to call anytime!

Natural Consequences

As many of you know, I am a mother in addition to being a school counselor.  We currently have a 3 year old, and if you remember, this is a time that challenges your patience and parenting skills! So just like you, I often find myself looking for new strategies and insights.  

I have found that oftentimes, in our attempts to teach our children right from wrong, we are very busy coming up with consequences for their negative behaviors. . . and it is exhausting!  Are we punishing them, or ourselves, with these elaborate consequences??  I am a firm believer that when possible the best consequences are natural consequences.

I came across a great article about how to use natural consequences effectively.  Very importantly, it talks about how parents unknowingly sabotage the natural consequence. 

Check out the article at http://blog.positivediscipline.com/2012/04/natural-consequences.html!

Safety First!

 One of the most important lessons that I present every year involves student safety.  I am always surprised by the number of kindergarteners who seem to be unaware of the rules for staying safe around adult strangers.  I don't know if they have forgotten the information, or if the parents have not discussed this topic with them.  Regardless, it is so important to talk with your kids about strangers!

In the lessons, we teach the concept of "checking first."  We tell students that anytime they are approached by a stranger, they should never speak to the stranger or go with the stranger without "checking first" with a safe adult.  Within our lesson, we practice checking with an adult in common scenarios.  Children are asked to check with a safe adult when they are offered candy, offered a ride because mommy is sick, and asked to help find a lost puppy. 

If this isn't something that you have talked to your child about, please take the time to do it today!  You can find more information and tips on keeping your child safe at http://safelyeverafter.com/index.html and http://www.youthonline.ca/safety/stranger.shtml.

Rock or Clay?

 Or   

One of the things that makes my job worthwhile is when I visit a classroom, and a student mentions something that I taught them a year ago.  Another thing that makes my day is when a parent tells me that their child loves guidance, or that their child told them about my lesson.  All three of these things happened last week, so I was on top of the world!  

In the last circumstance, a parent told me that her student came home and told her about rock and clay problems.  The mom said the lesson even hit home with her, and she now finds herself thinking about whether a problem is a rock or clay.  This got me to thinking that this might be a great concept to share with all my parents.  All of us are going to have problems, and all of our children are going to face problems.  This concept can help!

All problems can be divided into one of two categories:  Rock or clay.  

A rock problem is similar to a rock in that no matter how much we push on a rock, it is not going to change.  For rock problems we focus on just feeling better about the problem.  We can do this by getting our feelings out through talking, writing or drawing, and by doing fun things that take our mind off the problem.  Examples of rock problems include divorce, death, moving schools--things that children don't have any control over!

A clay problem is similar to clay or playdough in that we can push on clay and change it into something else.  So a clay problem can be "fixed" in some way.  For clay problems we focus on trying to find a solution to the problem.  Examples of clay problems might include forgetting your homework, or having a fight with a friend.  For these problems, we might try to bring in our homework the next day to get partial credit, or try to talk out the problem with our friend.

So next time your child has a problem, help them to decide if it is a rock or a clay problem! It's a concept that the smallest of children seem to understand.  Hope it works for you as well as it has worked for me in the counseling office!

Pete the Cat!

Be on the lookout for a new friend in the counseling department!

Pete the Cat!

He's going to bring lots of fun to Middle Creek, and teach the kids a valuable lesson about resilience, going with the flow and keeping a good attitude!  Our first, second and third grade students will be visiting with him soon!  :)

We will be reading Pete the Cat and His White Shoes.  In this book, Pete loves his white shoes and sings a catchy little song.  But then, he steps in a big pile of. . . strawberries!!!  Does he cry?  Goodness no!  He just keeps walking along and singing his song.  

You can learn more about this cool cat  and listen to the audio book by visiting this site:  http://www.harpercollinschildrens.com/feature/petethecat/

You can also see a live reading of the book by the author here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUubMSfIs-U

I am willing to bet that his message will resonate with you too!

Welcome to the Middle Creek Elementary counseling blog!

Hopefully parents and teachers will find this to be a useful resource for ideas and information!

Some of you may be new to our school.  Maybe you are even new to the idea of a school counselor!!  If you are like me, there weren't even counselors in your elementary school!

So what do I do?  Well, elementary school counselors are part of a team that help students to achieve and grow.  We actually do teach, focusing on personal/social, academic and career skills.  We meet with students individually and in groups to address anything that might interfere with learning.

Here's some frequently asked questions about counselors:





If you think your child might need to see me individually or in one of the offered groups, please feel free to email me at lfillard@wcpss.net or call me at (919)773-9557.